N O O R

I raised my hand and then held back, contemplating if I should knock on his door or not. 15 minutes. It had been 15 minutes since I had been standing outside his room, and two weeks since he had uttered a single word.

Except for the only time I stubbed my toe and he helped me settle down until the pain subsided.

Coming to the moment, it's March 16 today, Vyom's birthday, and silly as it may sound, we had this tradition—or you may say my gift to him—that I make kheer for him. I know a lot has changed since last year, but I don't have the heart to break the streak.

With hope that even in his anger he won't ignore me today and maybe things will turn smooth, I decided to give it a try. I know I can't take back what I did, but I can seek forgiveness. So taking a deep breath, I gathered the long-lost courage and knocked softly.

No response. I waited for a few minutes and decided to place another knock but couldn't.

He must have slept, I concluded, and turned on my feet to leave half-heartedly until a faint noise of unlocking the door hit my ears. My cheeks turned warm as I heard him calling my name.

"Noor. Kya hua?" (Noor. What happened?) His sleepy voice confirmed that I was right.

"I..." Just say it. I looked at his droopy eyes which were already grazing over me.

"Happy Birthday!" I sighed as if I had unloaded something heavy from my heart. "Happy Birthday!" I greeted him again, this time looking at his eyes while showing the bowl of kheer. I might have had low expectations, but the smile on his face cast some kind of relief to my heart. He looked beautiful when he was happy. How cruel I was to hurt this man.

"Thank you." He moved closer to me and filled a spoon for a bite, but instead of taking it himself, he offered it to me. I took it and returned his smile. He then took a bite with the same spoon.

"It is used," I murmured, offering him another spoon, but he shrugged and finished the whole bowl right then and there.

"Thank you, Noor." The gentleness in his voice comforted me. He was about to step forward to initiate a hug but hesitated as the air between us turned heavy again.

Some things do take time. I realized we were friends before. We can still be friends. We were such happy-go-crazy friends. I don't know why, but at this particular moment I was missing my friend, and to have that warmth, I couldn't help but forward my arms and engulf him in a hug.

"I am sorry, Vyom. I know what I did was wrong and I am sorry. I have lost my way, but I don't want to lose my friend. Please, Vyom. Forgive me." A tear trickled down my cheek as I found him reciprocating. The warmth long lost made its way to my heart. I hiccupped as I found him untangling our embrace.

"Hey! Don't cry." He wiped my face and looked at me with concern.

I cursed at myself for making such a happy moment so dramatic. "I am okay." But my heart was feeling so heavy, I wanted to cry, but this time not alone in my room.

These weeks made me realize that I need Vyom more than he needs me. I realized why my father married me to him.

"Sure?" He was not convinced but somehow nodded when I cast a small smile in assurance.

"There is a long day ahead. I think we should sleep." He seemed tired, and I have no heart to prolong the exchange of greetings. He is too polite to interrupt, but I know.

"Happy Birthday! Once again." Giving him a quick side hug, I walked to my room. Not before seeing him looking in my direction until I closed the door.

---

"Hello!" I looked at the clock and then at the caller ID. Vyom never called during this time.

"Hi! Noor. I was thinking..." I could feel hesitation in his voice.

"Yes," I urged him to complete.

"Will you go out to dinner with me?"

I was planning on cooking something of his favorite, but by asking for dinner, he surely caught me off-guard.

"Noor? Are you there?"

"Haan. Sure."

"Be ready by 7. Bye. See you then," and he cut the call.

I could not deny. It's his birthday and things are getting better now, but my mind could not help but go back to where I am moving now. Did I decide to give this marriage a chance? I know I could not hurt him anymore. But giving him hope is unjustifiable. What if I am robbing him of a chance of having a happy married life?

I decided to not go there—it's his birthday today. The least I could do is not ruin his day. Dinner, is it? Then dinner it is.

---

The dinner went smoothly. Like a gentleman, he picked me up on time, and then we went to this restaurant famous for Indian cuisine. For a second, I thought maybe I was underdressed wearing a peach Anarkali suit, but considering the sophisticated aesthetic of the mahogany walls and peaceful open sky, I would not have been comfortable in anything else.

There was a singer performing one of my favorite songs coincidentally, and I couldn't help but catch Vyom mouthing the lyrics while enjoying the music as well.

Glancing at his face while driving back home, I was glad that he enjoyed the evening.

"I am sorry, I did not bring you any gift," I spoke, which he tsked at.

"You already did," he smiled and then shared a brief glance.

"Kheer is not a gift. I should have brought you something nice, you know. I'll surely get you something later. Promise." I sighed and didn't waver my gaze from his face.

"You already did. You came out to dinner with me. This is the best birthday I have ever had." His words warmed my face, and all of a sudden I felt shy and lowered my gaze.

"It's not a big deal." I was not sure if he had listened to what I said.

"For me, it is." He was smiling throughout the evening, not that I was complaining, but every time he looked at me, there was a small tug on his face like he was genuinely happy.

"Do you mean it?" I did not know why I came up with this, and it is so random. "When you said you love me?"

"What's the point when you decided to not believe me?" The disappointment in his voice was evident, and I know I am playing with fire and doing exactly what I had decided not to do earlier.

"But how? Why? Since when? Why didn't you tell me before?" I have tried denying it; it didn't work. So, I decided to try otherwise. He halted the car on the side and then, turning all his attention towards me, he confessed, "I've loved you since I've known you, Noor. At first..."

He sighed before proceeding, "It will break my heart if you don't believe me."

"But why all of a sudden? Why now?" I tried to make him understand my contemplation.

"Because I lost you once, and when God made you come into my life again, this time as my wife, I am not planning to let you go ever." The sincerity in his voice made me want to believe him.

"You knew how I was in my college days, and then you were with Pranav. I... I knew you were happy with him, and so I was happy for you, and then something happened between you two. He hurt you, I know. He broke you. It took everything in me to not go to that punk's house and break his bones, but he left the city too. I know..." He subconsciously took my hand in his.

"This marriage has not turned out what you expected. I know I am not Pranav." I could not help but cut him off.

"Never ever compare yourself to him." I blinked away my tears, and I know he has already seen them. "You are too good for me." I cleared my throat and tried to loosen his hold, but he tightened it and made me look at him.

"And you are a dream come true. The moment I saw you handing me those divorce papers was the exact moment I knew that if I have to fight with you for you, I will. You are the best thing that has happened to me." He looked as if trying to understand the depth of his words, and I couldn't help but find sincerity.

"So, please try not to pull any stupid stunt because mad or in love, I am not leaving your side." He let out a soft chuckle before resuming his drive, while I couldn't help but smile back, deciding to let this ride of life move at its pace.

--

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