I have lost my way.

They say when life gives you lemons, make lemonade, but all I'm left with is this bitter, sour taste corroding me from within. At first, anger was easy – call me selfish, but it was the simplest option I had to make this pathetic thing called life bearable, if not easy.

But as days have melted into months, something inside me is softening. The realization that my anger was nothing but grief in disguise, and that only has made me more bitter – but this time, towards myself.

Six months have passed since I married Vyom. Throughout these months, all I've offered him is silence. The comfort of marital embrace seems like a distant dream as I haven't even dared to meet his eyes since we tied the knot. 

Shame. Guilt. Regret. 

I was afraid to see hatred in his eyes, but I know he's too good for that. Then why did fate do this to him?

Like any other man, he deserves a normal life with a normal wife, and there's nothing normal about me. There never will be. Pain has a way of transforming you, and there's no point in letting him become entangled in my darkness anymore. It will only scar his soul, and I've already done enough damage. This needs to end now.

We used to be best friends before we became husband and wife. Such a twisted game fate has played – but I won't let it hold power over me anymore. Enough is enough. From now on, things will be done my way – the only right way.

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Lots of love,

Tara :)